I've always loved the tagline 'sharing is caring' as it's always relevant regardless of the situation at hand. Sharing will always help someone.With this in mind I have decided to share real stories from real Mum's covering a variety of topics.
This week we have a post written by the lovely Keali from @2under2andthereafter, by reading her Instagram handle you've guessed correctly, she has 2 babies under 2.
Here is her story..
I fell pregnant with our baby girl, when our darling boy was only 4 months old, I was often told ‘you’re going to have your hands full’ and so I somewhat prepared for that: I arranged for help in the early days and got organised.
However I was not prepared for the diversity of emotions I would feel: intense joy, contentment, guilt and sorrow. An influencer uploaded a photo of her and her little boy with the caption 'How is it possible to live with this little boy and miss him so much?’ and I can completely relate that.
In the 2 days that I was in hospital having our baby girl, I felt like our baby boy grew so much! He could of had a growth spurt, but I don’t think it was that. He didn't seem so little anymore, his hands didn't seem so small.
Whilst I was overjoyed with the arrival of our beautiful baby girl. All the memories of our little boy being that little came flooding back to be. I’m immensely proud of the vivacious, smart and wonderfully funny little boy that stands before me and I’m excited to watch him grow but I grieve the little boy / baby he once was.
I absolutely love being a mummy to two but at the same time I miss just being his mummy. My time and attention is divided and comes with that is guilt. It hurts to not be able to give each of them individually one hundred percent of my attention one hundred percent of the time. I hope they still know and feel how much I love and adore them both equally. The greatest gift my parents ever gave me was my siblings, I hope they one day feel the same.
What are my days like?
Let me start by saying every day is different and my days are less stressful when I have no expectations. Some days their naps coincide & it’s absolutely bliss, other days I struggle to get 5 minutes to myself and that’s ok. My mother in law said to me ‘you’ve just got to adapt and roll’ and she’s absolutely right!
If possible I feed my baby girl before my little boy wants to get up which is normally around 7am. Most days he’ll wake up before this time but will be content in his cot and sometimes he’ll fall back to sleep. The mornings he does fall back to sleep, we skip the morning nap, otherwise I would put him down at 9-9:30 for half hour / an hour.
In the beginning I really struggled with breastfeeding due to how often my baby girl wanted to feed. I felt like I was neglecting my little boy. Of course I wasn’t but I felt so guilt for not having as much time for him. Now she’s a little older (10 weeks on Monday) and not feeding as often I actually think breastfeeding is probably easier than what bottle feeding would be. Simply because the milk is ready & waiting for when it’s needed. There’s no preparing bottles which makes getting ready to go out easier too.
My little boy has his breakfast shortly after waking. I normally prepare this the night before. He has his lunch around midday (I normally prepare this the night before too) and then I put him down for a nap between 12:30 and 13:30 and let him sleep for as long as he wants but no later than 16:30. I’ve always been flexible with his naps and it’s really paid off. If I’m tired and feel I need a nap too I’ll sometimes delay my little boys nap until I’ve got my baby girl to sleep so that as soon as he’s gone down I can get my head down too.
If chaos is going to strike, I can almost guarantee it will be in the late afternoon. My little boy wants his dinner and my baby girl wants to feed and/or go to sleep but is fighting it so needs a little help. I’ve recently started giving my little boy his dinner slightly earlier at 17:00. I can then fed my baby girl whilst he eats. He’s finished eating and is cleaned up by 17:30, leaving me to get my baby girl ready for bed and settled for the evening.
On a good day, this gives us 1 hour with just our little boy before he goes to bed. I dream feed my baby girl at 22:00 and then I go to bed. This is the only feed which is structured, the rest of the time I feed on demand. In between the feeds and naps we play and there are lots of cuddles which make the 12+ hour days oh so worth it!
I’m sure if you ask me in 3 months time what my day is like it will be completely different and more structured but for now I live by the ‘adapt and roll’ mantra. So absolutely my hands are full. Nearly everyday there is at least a moment of chaos, days are a lot louder than they were before but they are also filled with a whole lot of love and my heart honestly couldn’t be fuller.
Thanks for reading,